If the title of the this post already has you shaking your head “no” I want to challenge you to stick around. The idea of writing a letter to your future Mr. or Mrs. not as sappy as it sounds…
When I was 13-years-old I attended a Christ in Youth Believe Conference in Saint Louis Missouri and listened to a worship artist from the weekend speak. She shared how as a teenager she one day decided to write a letter to her future husband. Admitting that this felt super cheesy at the time, but she later never regretted it because it took her by when she and her husband opened it years later. The day in which she had comprised the only letter she had written to her future spouse dated on her husband’s birthday. Amazing, right?
Completely moved by this story, I left the conference and went home to write a letter to my future husband. I pulled out a sheet of notebook paper and shared my 13-year-old girl thoughts (I mentioned my shiny braces and basketball at least twice).
Twenty-five letters later, I am walking down the aisle to marry my handsome husband and I have my entire season of waiting and praying for him recorded in writing. Chris and I will celebrate our four year anniversary this May and every year we open a few more of the letters I wrote to him.
Each one is absolutely precious and completely prophetic. There are so many detailed prayers I prayed over him as teenager that were answered in his life. Even crazier, within my first few letters I wrote I shared my curiosity asking if he was enlisted in the U.S. Military and that I was a sucker for a man in uniform. Spoiler, Chris is a serviceman in the Navy. I could not believe I had all of this recorded and Chris could not believe He had been covered in prayer by someone he did not even know for his entire life.
God is in the details.
Why is this important?
During this season of our lives Chris and I are ministering to high school and college students. In between picking out attire for formals and prepping for exams they are asking questions about relationships and their future. Each time I over the same advice, “Start praying for your spouse today. Live like they are real person. Write them a letter!”
Please do not let this be confused with idolization. This is NOT at all a good thing to obsess and fantasize over your future. Walk surrendered to the will of God and the plans He has for you, in His timing. I also understand that not everyone is called to marriage, this idea is not about this. It is about being intentional and prompts to living a life of purity.
In high school I watched all of my friends go on dates and dish about their first kisses. It broke my heart because I wanted to experience this too. I took my feelings to God first and then to my letters to Chris. It protected me from jumping into relationships that were not meant for me. The last thing I wanted was to have to share something with him that I wish I could erase. Of course there is grace and God is full of it, ready to beautiful renew. Please do not forget this!
If writing out your thoughts, dreams, prayers, to your future spouse is something you would like to try I have a few tips to share with you…
- Pray. First ask God what He thinks about this idea. Everyone’s story is crafted to His uniqueness. If this is not something you do not feel called to do then do NOT.
- Date it! You never know how a date might correlate into your spouse’s story and I am sure you will be shocked by how much overlap in your stories that will share with them.
- Personalize it. Be specific with your prayers and vision for your life. As I mentioned before, the thoughts I had a goofy teenager turned out to write the narrative of my life. It is so fun to see God fulfill these dreams and I might have missed out on some of this if I had not recorded it.
- Speak life. The requests you are presenting to God are not only influencing your husband or wife, but they will influence your life too. Prayer works, it matters.
- Seal it with a kiss. Ha, tis’ the season
If you decide to write a letter to your future spouse would you let me know? I would love to encourage you in this. I am soooo excited about this for you and whoever your “you know who” may be. God is in this with you, share your prayers and let Him write your love story.